I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
