if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he puts the penis in happiness.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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