Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
