Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
