Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
