I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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