Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
