Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
