what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
