I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
