I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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