Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
