i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
