So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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