Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
