its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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