forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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