yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
