thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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