If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you traded sex for a burrito?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
