5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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