so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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