evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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