Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
whose parrot is this?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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