i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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