Midget sex pt 2 tonight
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
