I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
