I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
