I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
