why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
