I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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