Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's like heaven, but drunker
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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