great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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