do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
