I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
