my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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