God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
