i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
