At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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