Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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