dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
