Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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