Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
