is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
