Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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