did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
