did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
