If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
