just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize