What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
