Operation Purity has been aborted
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
last night I used snow as a chaser
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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